We had this conversation.

Someone I am married to (aka SIAMT) cares a lot about his clothes. He has cultivated that effortlessly put together, "This old thing?" look, but he truly cares. Way more, it should be said, than I care about my clothes...I mean, have you seen me lately? There is balance in our marriage.

But this morning I got a look behind the great curtain. It was startling. And weird. You see, SIAMT was having a shoe crisis.


SIAMT: "These shoes drink Negroni and have an Italian girlfriend who doesn't talk and always looks angry. They eat good cheese."


"These shoes are married to a girl from the Midwest. She smiles a lot."
Me: "But they're falling apart."
SIAMT: "Oh, they'll stay together. We should get some Negroni."

I'm proud to say that he wore the Midwesterners.

EDIT: Charles points out that the Italian girlfriend has ringlets. And she does smile, but only under very specific circumstances, which I won't go into here.