In December, my wonderful dad, Gerald Greenwood, passed away after a long illness (you can read his obituary here). One of the greatest things in my life is knowing that he died the way he wanted to -- in his own bed at home, with my mom, my sister and me surrounding him. He was very much at peace. The funeral was perfect -- everything he wanted -- and we were surrounded by so much love and compassion. I'll never forget the many kindnesses, great and small, that have come to us during this time. I've discovered that there are all sorts of wonderful gifts -- stronger relationships with family, real friends out of acquaintances -- that are totally unexpected yet that you can't imagine living without that blossom in times like this.
I've also learned that, until you experience the death of a parent, you can't possibly truly understand what it's like. I always thought I did, but I was wrong. To all my friends and relatives that have lost a parent, I am so sorry. There's just nothing else to say. I get it.
Without a doubt, these months have been the hardest of my whole life. I never thought I could be so sad for so long. I keep hearing that it won't get better, just different. That the waves of grief aren't as sharp or as frequent, though they're always with you.
So those are the two big things that have happened recently -- it's going to take time to reconfigure my life to reflect these changes, and I honestly don't know how long that will take. I feel like I'm saying "I don't know" a lot these days -- the one thing I am sure of is that I don't really know anything. I hear that's a good place to be.