Wednesday, March 16, 2011

mom failure, sort of

So Maggie had her annual checkup yesterday...three months late, but we were kind of doctored out earlier this winter. She's the size of a 10-11 year old (if you know her, you know how tall she is -- it's hard to remember that she's only six). She may need glasses. And an orthopedist. Those cute little pigeon toes -- or duck legs as Maggie calls them -- aren't quite as cute as they were at four. She had four big shots, a very unsuccessful attempt at blood drawing (yay, we get to go to another specialist), and she even got to pee in a cup. It was a banner day, and I'm pretty sure her rosy opinion of doctors underwent a sea change.

The mom failure part? When the doctor asked her about what she eats:
Dr.: What do you usually eat for lunch?
Maggie: A sandwich.
Dr.: And for dinner?
Maggie: A sandwich.
Dr.: Okay. What kind of sandwiches to you eat?
Maggie: Um...cheese!

Here's what Maggie left out: she did have a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner. It was on multigrain bread and paired with apples and a small glass of low fat milk. Breakfast? A banana-orange juice-yogurt smoothie. Morning snack? Prunes. Lunch? Half an apple, strawberries, a small banana, grapes, and half of a peanut butter sandwich on multigrain bread.

How the hell does that translate into cheese sandwiches for every meal?! The doctor was talking to Maggie so I didn't feel like I could cut in without looking really defensive. As it was, I may as well have been feeding her marshmallow fluff sandwiches on white bread with a side of velveeta.

Awesome. And yes, I know there are no vegetables in that sample diet. She doesn't like them anymore since her classmates made fun of her repeatedly for bringing sugar snap peas, red peppers and broccoli in her lunch. As it is, both kids complain that they never get "good" stuff (chips, cookies) in their lunches, just dumb healthy stuff. Because I am the meanest mom. Ever.

- I wrote this on my iPad

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