An End to (Part of) Childhood.

Maggie: Mommy, is Big Bird a person with feathers?
Me: Well...sort of. Why?
Maggie: Well, what is Big Bird?
Me: Well...Big Bird is sort of a puppet. There's someone inside of a big costume.
Maggie: (silence)
Maggie: Mommy? How about Zoey? Is she a person or a puppet?
Me: Sweetie, Zoey is a puppet.
Maggie: No, she's a person and so you are wrong.
Me: No, Mag. Zoey and Oscar and Grover and Cookie Monster are all puppets. There are people who use their imaginations to make Big Bird and Zoey and Elmo and all the other characters seem alive, but they're not really.
Maggie: You have made this my saddest day ever.

And then the tears flowed.

In retrospect, I guess there were some aspects of this conversation that I could have handled better. The problem is that she told me I am wrong, which seems to be the theme of this -- and let's face it every -- week.

I'm here all week at Awesome Parenting Skills Central, folks. Make sure to tip your waiters.

Snow Day!

So if you live anywhere in the United States -- come to think of it, anywhere with television access -- you probably already know that the south and east were blanketed by snow over the past several days. In the DC area, we haven't had a good snow storm for several years, so 6-8" of fluffy white was (is) fantastic! Pictures here...

Schools were closed, sleds were out, and hot chocolate and Wii marathons were enjoyed. Schools are on a two-hour opening delay this morning, and Paul doesn't quite get why he is not spending the next two hours out in the snow... I guess I can't really think of a good reason, except that "because I'm your mother" seems handy. (Honestly, it's 14F out. It's not just that I'm a lazy mom!)

The grippe grips our house.

To celebrate Friday, I was going to upload a very sweet little video of laMag singing a favorite Halloween tune (or "Happy Happy, Joy Joy" over and over), but I seem to be a tech moron (Shhh! Our secret!) Instead, please take a gander at these beautiful images of cold and flu viruses (top and bottom, respectively)...

I'm not sure exactly which ones are having a party inside me (remember that Cosby Show episode where Dr. Huxtable explains to youngest daughter Rudy all about the germs having a party?) but something is definitely amiss. All I want to do is lay down here on the carpet under my desk and hope that some kind soul brings a blanket. And maybe some hot tea. Really just a blanket. I'm so cold.

(Personally, I'm blaming Maggie, who had croup at the start of the week. I really shouldn't have let her breathe into my mouth, but it seemed like a sort of good idea at the time. Looking back, I was an idiot. Again.)

Trying to Have a "Smart" Conversation Goes Nowhere

We went out last night to celebrate the birthday of a the coolest girl in the band, and returning to the Chev, I tried to strike up a conversation with MasterP about the recent discovery of water on Mars. (Note: I am overcompensating for days of partial parental neglect due to overwork, so I'm really trying to pull out all the good mommy stops. I feel like Homer Simpson when he started paying attention to the kids... and they asked him to stop.)

The conversation:

Me: Did you hear that they got a thimbleful of water from Mars?

Charles: Really?

Me: Yeah, the NASA scientist said that the champagne was flowing in the lab. (See how I can work champagne into so many conversations? It's a gift...)

MasterP: Does that mean that there are little green martian men on Mars? I'm going to go and get one and come back and scare people with it!

LaMag: I'M going to go get a PINK one and she'll be a princess named Strawberry Shortcake!!!

MasterP: MAGGIE!!!! You can't have a pink martian. They're GREEN. The pink ones are from someplace else. Pfeh.

LaMag: MMMOOOMMMMMYYYYYY! Paul is mean and he says I can't have a pink martian and I want a PINK one!

At this time, the headache that I'd been battling all day returned. With great vengeance.

A Tale of Summertime Woe

If you have a school-age child, you may be spending part of your summer getting your kid to do workbooks in preparation for the coming year. Or, if your school-age child is like mine, you may be spending your summer in a circle of useless, endless negotiation about the aforementioned workbooks. You may be hearing a lot about what summer is supposed to be, and how you're "ruining my life" and how they "really hadn't put work in the plan for today." Sound familiar? If not, I envy you. Oh, how I envy you.

Until today, that is. This morning, MasterP (pretty much) voluntarily did his work without (too much) complaining. I was as surprised as you! He even asked me to take pictures so that we could remember this day. There were some conversational gems...

Working on sight-recognition words (the text was a little smudged so he missed one or two that he normally would get):
"Not quite. It's 'could'."
"Oh yeah. 'Could.' That's a classic."

The conversation after he finished:
"Mom? Mom, would you say this was the best I ever did workbooks, an average time or worse than usual?"
"Hmmm. Well, it was pretty good."
"Mom. I really need to know your full answer here."

What do you suppose he has up his sleeve? A survey?

I pushed my luck, though. I offered him a bribe -- I mean incentive -- to complete additional pages each day. He ran (and I can hear the lovely strains of Lego xBox now). I knew I was going too far.

Technically, right now I really should be working...

but instead I am going to let you in on the highlights of the weekend, because otherwise it'll never happen. My procrastination skills seem to be at their apex this weekend...

Friday:

Because P&M were good all morning (and I was busy and I'm a big treater) I took P&M through the McD's drive-through. I was told by the elderly man working the window that I "could make a man stop watching football". P&M have been repeating and giggling ever since. I'll have to remember that in the fall ... or maybe not, since I do not actually have that power in our household.

I took pictures at the Cheverly Community Market's Potluck, which was really charming. About 70 people came out and, though I didn't get a chance to eat, everything smelled and looked fantastic. Can't wait for another one!

Saturday:

We made it out to Target (for a cooler so that we don't borrow E&K's cooler for a second year), Clagett Farm (for our -- I have to say -- pretty teeny share) and Landover Liquor (thank you for stocking Sofia -- it's been a source of slow mornings more than once for several Cheverly mommies who shall go unnamed...you know who you are.) That was all a leadup to Soul Revolver's performance at the Surf Club. Fun night -- Ladies' Night was originally scheduled, but got pushed back (the band was only supposed to play 7:00-9:00) in favor of a second set by Kelly, the Brians and Charles...and a very special two-man finale around 11:00. There was lots of dancing (I'm sure I'll regret that...) and some people were rather surprised at how much dancing and drinking the parents were able to do...not sure if those people were impressed or horrified. Oh, you'll see when you're parents. I hope the band gets to play there again very soon! After finding my glasses (under a table, sorta wrecked), we had an after-party of sorts back at the house until 1:30am. Thank you, babysitters of Cheverly. You do important, meaningful work and your service to your town and the parents therein is valued. I salute you.

Sunday:

Things are a little slow and sleepy around here today...can't imagine why. I think we need a week to recover from our weekend.

I really do have to work now. Pfeh.

Annals of Bad Parenting

Paul and Maggie have been left to their own devices more than I'd like this week. I've had a nasty flu thingy since last Friday when Charles had to talk me down from insane hysteria...this is always the first sign that I'm going to get sick. We should have known, because it took a lot of talking down. And -- testament to Charles -- he actually missed a local solo coffee house performance by the Jerry guy from Dark Star Orchestra just to help me regain some sense of sanity. That's love. So a week later, I'm hacking away and have developed a weird rash, which makes me think I've got the leprosy. Oh. And Maggie has pinkeye. And Charles is in Atlanta. Working. How's your summer going? Good? Good. I'm glad.

Anyhoo, back to what I was saying... P&M have been left to their own devices a lot over the past week. They've been remarkably good -- not too much screaming, not too many messes, a lot less fighting than I expected. Now I'm beginning to figure out why...

Paul has been teaching Maggie how to play Star Wars xBox games.

So at least it's been educational. How long do you think it will take for her to win? Personally, I think he has a year, max.

(Note: When you're a three-year-old girl, a princess crown and a tongue hanging out really improve your gaming skills. And it's interesting that, even with eyes red and crusted over with puss, a hacking cough and green sludge coming out of her nose, la Mag still demands to be dressed as a princess first thing in the morning. What a chick.)

(Note 2, for any teachers who may be reading this: Paul and I did actually do flash cards yesterday. And he's been reading stories and writing reports for me. I'm not totally bad. Thanks for reading that. I really do feel better.)