I bet you're wondering where I've been...

I did not fall off the face of the Earth.

I did not fall asleep in a ditch somewhere.

The children did not win (though it's been close...)

I've been busy...

First, we spent a lovely weekend at Lake Gaston, Virginia with our best friends. The prettiest member of several Cheverly bands that you know and love and her very kind parents opened their house to all of us for the weekend. By "opened their house" I mean fed us, housed us and took us on the boat. Repeatedly. At all hours of the day and night. (Actually, I slept through that...)

And why, you may ask, did we go all the way down to the VA/NC border?

So that Things 1&2 could see their very first WILCO show!!!!!!!!! They had a great time. We all had a great time (even though the crowd, as Jeff Tweedy mentioned repeatedly, smelled very nice...but not like the pine trees surrounding the amphitheater. You know, concert nice.) Cary, North Carolina, has a great concert venue -- the Koka Booth Amphitheater. If you ever have an opportunity to see a show there, do it. The band was great, and Bon Iver, the opener, was really cool. I want to see them again.

On the drive between Lake Gaston and Cary, we went to Raleigh, which has a great comic book store. Any comic book store that employs nerds willing to find the perfect comic book for a three-year old girl is tops in my book. They had one copy of a Barbie comic book and we all made a big deal about it being rare in in plastic. Maggie was thrilled. The boy needed no help in the store... there was also a good used bookstore and lots of coffee shops. Fun, fun, fun. (But not as cool as Richmond, where we stopped on the way down to the lake.)

So we had a terrific long weekend with great people and I got more sleep than I have in months. Fantastic. And then...

JURY DUTY.
Okay, I'm one of those people who think that jury duty is a good thing. I've been called several times, but was never put on a trial. Until this week. All I'm going to say: Do not do drugs. Do not use guns. If you have to use drugs, do not use guns at the same time. We'll all be alot better off if you just take my advice.

Monday night, after a quick yummy dinner at Eat First, we went to see Grizzly Bear at the 6th & I Synagogue in DC. A band I'd never heard of, Violens, opened (but I will seek them out!) It was the most polite show I've ever attended, and we were probably the only people there who had to get home to a babysitter (thanks, Abby!) Also, Charles said that every guy in the restroom while he was there washed their hands. Impressive fans, Grizzly Bear.

My jury duty ended early (plea deal) and I went to a little coffee place in Upper Marlboro that I've driven past so many times: More than Coffee! They make an incredibly good black bean and corn salad -- warm, tossed with oil and lots of cumin, and served over lettuce. (And really good soy cappuccino...) So after a relaxing lunch and a stop to buy school supplies for the boy, we got to spend Tuesday afternoon at the pool. You know those days when the cold water is especially welcome because you've been laying in the hot sun? Yeah. And we ended last night with a fantastic vegan meal made by some new friends and shared with some old ones.

So. In less than a week, four bands. Three states. The pool. Lots of great friends and food. Civic duty. Not a bad way to wind down summer...

Trying to Have a "Smart" Conversation Goes Nowhere

We went out last night to celebrate the birthday of a the coolest girl in the band, and returning to the Chev, I tried to strike up a conversation with MasterP about the recent discovery of water on Mars. (Note: I am overcompensating for days of partial parental neglect due to overwork, so I'm really trying to pull out all the good mommy stops. I feel like Homer Simpson when he started paying attention to the kids... and they asked him to stop.)

The conversation:

Me: Did you hear that they got a thimbleful of water from Mars?

Charles: Really?

Me: Yeah, the NASA scientist said that the champagne was flowing in the lab. (See how I can work champagne into so many conversations? It's a gift...)

MasterP: Does that mean that there are little green martian men on Mars? I'm going to go and get one and come back and scare people with it!

LaMag: I'M going to go get a PINK one and she'll be a princess named Strawberry Shortcake!!!

MasterP: MAGGIE!!!! You can't have a pink martian. They're GREEN. The pink ones are from someplace else. Pfeh.

LaMag: MMMOOOMMMMMYYYYYY! Paul is mean and he says I can't have a pink martian and I want a PINK one!

At this time, the headache that I'd been battling all day returned. With great vengeance.

Annals of Bad Parenting

Paul and Maggie have been left to their own devices more than I'd like this week. I've had a nasty flu thingy since last Friday when Charles had to talk me down from insane hysteria...this is always the first sign that I'm going to get sick. We should have known, because it took a lot of talking down. And -- testament to Charles -- he actually missed a local solo coffee house performance by the Jerry guy from Dark Star Orchestra just to help me regain some sense of sanity. That's love. So a week later, I'm hacking away and have developed a weird rash, which makes me think I've got the leprosy. Oh. And Maggie has pinkeye. And Charles is in Atlanta. Working. How's your summer going? Good? Good. I'm glad.

Anyhoo, back to what I was saying... P&M have been left to their own devices a lot over the past week. They've been remarkably good -- not too much screaming, not too many messes, a lot less fighting than I expected. Now I'm beginning to figure out why...

Paul has been teaching Maggie how to play Star Wars xBox games.

So at least it's been educational. How long do you think it will take for her to win? Personally, I think he has a year, max.

(Note: When you're a three-year-old girl, a princess crown and a tongue hanging out really improve your gaming skills. And it's interesting that, even with eyes red and crusted over with puss, a hacking cough and green sludge coming out of her nose, la Mag still demands to be dressed as a princess first thing in the morning. What a chick.)

(Note 2, for any teachers who may be reading this: Paul and I did actually do flash cards yesterday. And he's been reading stories and writing reports for me. I'm not totally bad. Thanks for reading that. I really do feel better.)

Why I haven't posted.

We've been having too much fun. Sorry.

Between a baby calf eating Paul's shirt at South Mountain Creamery (Paul seemed to really enjoy that. Huh.), days spent poolside, visits to Clagett Farm, our bi-weekly Cheverly Community Market, and Maggie trying to eat things bigger than her head (I think there's some words of wisdom that I should have told her, but I forgot. Whoops.) the blogging thing has been an afterthought. At best. I have been good about taking pictures though...

Summer vacation preview

Things 1 & 2 don't have school today (cancellations as a result of yesterday's big storms), so P is practicing his summer schedule: sleep late, breakfast, pick a Beatles record (more on that in a moment), lay on the couch and play guitar until it's time to head to the pool. He has these things all figured out.

Actual conversation:
Mom, why do records sound so awesome?
Um, I don't know.
It's like a miracle.
Okay.
Do you want to listen to Rubber Soul or Meet the Beatles?
How about Rubber Soul?
Awesome choice, mom. You're pretty smart.

So. There you have it. At least to the seven and under set, I am pretty smart. Actually, the boy is smarter, but he doesn't need to know that. Yet.

So...How Goes Spring Break?

Big plans. Biiiig plans.

Well, other than everyone getting sick, not too bad. Lots of dress-up and tattoos. And drawing. And reading. And chaining up small children (that's the boy, not me). It's still too cold to play outside much, and we *could* go do stuff, but that would require making an effort. We've all been down with the nasties, so we're doing a low-key break. Hoping to pull it out with a trip to the beach at week's end though...

Paul and Maggie are scared because they've learned a terrible secret about their mommy...I like ELO (Electric Light Orchestra). Enough that I purchased songs on iTunes. I'm mildly ashamed of this...sort of like admitting that even though you have the world's greatest espresso machine ($10,000, if you're looking for a gift), you secretly frequent Starbucks. Or worse, Dunkin' Dounts. Then again, Paul isn't too scared -- he's been dancing around like a little maniac. We've come into some songs off of "Thriller" (you know you love it too, come on) and Paul is a dancing miracle. If, by dancing miracle, you mean "small boy who has no rhythm and cannot move his hips independent of his entire torso". He's all over that. Last night, he tried break dancing. Wow. Wow. Wow. Personally, I blame Wilco for ignoring my meal invitation. I've had to resort to guilty pleasure music of the '70s and '80s. Stop me now or I'm going to start listening to Peter Frampton and Rod Stewart! Or worse! (Again!)

Finally, did you know that princesses have tattoos? Well they do! They also drool in chocolate. And they don't like to wear clothes unless they are "beeeuoooteeef princess dresses". I don't make the rules, but I do abide by them.

And so Spring Break begins...

We're three hours into spring break.

The cat will prevail.

Sooner or later, you will have to come out of the bathroom. And then, you belong to the cat. You will do her bidding. Without complaint. In return, you get nothing. Do not whine, moan or complain. This is your lot in life, so...

Sooner or later, you will have to come out of the bathroom is good advice. Because yes, you will have to face crazy things (two- or four-legged) over which you imagine you exert some control. In reality, you do not. They control you. The earlier you figure that bit out, the better.

(This post may actually be about someone -- or something -- else. It may not be about the cat at all...)

On a different note, Maggie decided to investigate makeup. Again. This time it's mascara. All over her lips. She "needed something". At least she didn't lock herself in the bathroom this time... Paul's spring break begins in one hour, thirty minutes. I already told him that he has a lot of homework to do in the next week and a half. He believes me. Bad, bad, bad mommy.